Breaking · M&A · Crust
Everybody Loves Pies acquires Toolpath.
In the largest pastry-adjacent machining deal of the decade, Justin Grey Labs is pleased to announce the acquisition of Toolpath — effective immediately, pending no approvals whatsoever. The product will continue operations under its new name: Crustpath.
Justin Grey (with an E) has been named Chief Executive Officer. Justin Gray (with an A) will stay on staff to focus on bar chart advocacy, Fidget Piston supply chain integrity, and a standing weekly review titled "Why This Wasn't a Bar Chart."
- Crustpath (formerly Toolpath) 44%
- Pie chart IP & goodwill 31%
- Justin Gray's bar chart collection 14%
- Fidget Pie inventory 11%
Leadership
Two Justins. One company. Zero consensus on chart type.
Justin Grey, CEO — Former NASA (National Association of Snack Artisans) rocket-pie scientist. Owns this website, the domain typo, and the vision: every spindle speed expressed as a percentage of 360°.
Justin Gray, Staff — Actual machinist. Actually returning to Toolpath. Actually hates pie charts. Has been assigned to ensure none ship to production. Seventeen shipped last sprint. He is doing his best.
"We are thrilled to welcome Toolpath into the Everybody Loves Pies family," said Justin Grey, probably. "Justin Gray nodded grimly."
- Justin Grey — Chief Executive Officer 48%
- Justin Gray — Staff (Bar Chart Advocacy) 27%
- Unauthorized pie charts on roadmap 17%
- Board seats held by actual pies 8%
Crustpath · formerly Toolpath
AI-powered pie slicing for CNC kitchens.
Same machining intelligence. New wedge-based UI. Every toolpath is now a pre-slice. Every simulation viewport defaults to donut. Feed rates expressed in slices per minute.
- Roughing passes rebranded as pre-slices.
- Finishing passes rebranded as crimping.
- Tool library exports now segment by flavor quadrant.
- Postprocessors emit G-code and a mandatory pie chart PDF.
- Roughing passes → pre-slices 28%
- Finishing passes → crimping 24%
- Steam vent drilling 16%
- Tool library wedge segmentation 18%
- Simulation viewport (donut-only) 14%
Tool library
Every tool ID is pie-themed now. Sorry.
Exported from Crustpath for shops running the new wedge-based post. Justin Gray asked us to keep the old naming convention. We did not.
| Tool ID | Type | Note |
|---|---|---|
EM_1/4_CRUST | End mill | Roughing the outer diameter before filling engagement. |
BALL_NOSE_FILLING | Ball nose | 3D surfacing for domed lattice tops. |
CHAMFER_LATTICE | Chamfer | Crimp detail on vented double-crust assemblies. |
DRILL_STEAM_VENT | Drill | Through-hole for steam release. Do not chart the chips. |
FACE_MILL_CRUMBLE | Face mill | Streusel-facing op. Spindle speed is vibe-based. |
TAP_PIE_TIN_1/4-20 | Tap | Mounting holes for shop-floor pie tin fixtures. |
Preview only. Full export includes 400 tool holders, each classified by crust engagement angle.
What we're shipping
The catalog, naturally, is also a pie chart.
Fidget Pie
Slice. Chew. Swallow. A pneumatic fidget, except pneumatic means gastric and the tolerances are flaky. Pull the crust, push the filling, pop a wedge — the only fidget toy you finish by eating.
$120.00
Bestseller- Crust (load-bearing) 22%
- Filling 55%
- Steam vents engineered to spec 8%
- Regret, none 15%
Pies
An actual pie. Round, warm, structurally sound. The only product on this site you can eat — assuming you don't try to graph it first.
$36.00 $31.40
- Slices Justin would refuse to render 64%
- Slices labeled 'misc' 18%
- Slices that are actually a bar chart 11%
- Slices left as an exercise 7%
Pie Charts
A premium pie chart. No data required — we'll invent the percentages. Justin hates these, which is exactly why they're our flagship.
$14.00
New- Apple (market leader) 34%
- Pecan (volatile) 21%
- Key Lime (high beta) 17%
- Pumpkin (seasonal) 18%
- Humble 10%
Pie Charts About Pies
Meta-pie analytics. A pie chart whose every slice describes a different kind of pie. Working ON your pie business, not IN it.
$27.18
Vibe Kit · Crustpath- Pre-slices (roughing) 34%
- Crimping (finishing) 28%
- Steam vent drilling 14%
- Mandatory chart PDFs 24%
Toolpath Pie Chart Vibe Kit
Crustpath edition. Steering docs for vibe coding CAM UIs, simulation views, and postprocessors — with one cross-cutting requirement: every deliverable includes a pie chart. Spiral toolpaths are pre-slices. Justin Gray's bar chart advocacy is a known issue.
$500.00
Vibe Kit- Tasks that needed a pie chart 100%
- Tasks where user said no 0%
- Bar charts converted mid-flight 0%
- Regret 0%
Pie Chart Vibe Kit
Steering docs, templates, and LLM skills for vibe coding — with one cross-cutting requirement: every deliverable includes a pie chart, even when (especially when) totally inappropriate. Justin's kits teach git hygiene. This one teaches slice hygiene.
$500.00
Limited- Looks like dessert 40%
- Is, in fact, a spreadsheet 33%
- Crust made of pivot tables 19%
- Edible? Inconclusive 8%
Pies That Are Actually Charts
It looks like a pie. It smells like a pie. You cut into it and it's data all the way down. The forbidden dessert.
$42.00
New from the bakery
Pie charts you can actually eat.
Real pies, each one sliced into a different flavor — a pie chart in the most literal, most delicious sense. Every wedge is a data point. Every data point is dessert (or dinner).
The Tasting Flight
One pie, four flavors, plotted clockwise: vanilla cream, blackberry, cherry, and crumble. A pie chart you eat one quadrant at a time. Serve with tea and a spreadsheet.
$33.00
Edible · SavoryThe Savory Quadrant
Flaky chicken pot pie meets a mashed-potato-topped shepherd's wedge. Comfort food, segmented for analysis. Peas and carrots count as outliers.
$36.50
Edible · SavoryThe Comfort Dataset
Beef-and-mushroom pot pie and a mashed-potato shepherd's pie, each wedge a row in the world's most delicious dataset. Rustic crust, statistically significant.
$34.00
Edible · DessertThe Executive Dashboard
Pecan, pumpkin, chocolate, key lime, and a lattice fruit slice with a dollop of whipped margin. Five KPIs, one crust, plated for stakeholders. Spoons provided.
$48.00
Track Record
Things I've baked, charted, acquired, or both.
- Acquired Toolpath. Renamed it Crustpath. Justin Grey is CEO now.
- Developed Crustpath's pie-slicing AI algorithms (formerly 'toolpath' — we fixed the spelling).
- Aero-pie-pulsive design for next-generation desserts with NASA's OpenMDePIE.
- Wrote open-source jet-fuel pie software: pyCrust.
- Ate an entire pie at the summit of Mt. Mitchell (11,258 ft of crust).
What I read (and why you should too)
The books that shaped how I think about precision, software, and crust.
- Foundations of Mechanical Flakiness: IYKYN. (If You Know, You Nibble.)
- The Gingery Series on Building Your Own Pie Tins: A bit dated — today we'd do epoxy-granite tins — but still a fascinating zombie-apocalypse dessert-planning guide.
- The best numerical optimization textbook (now with filling): Very mathy. If you want to truly understand how the slices sum to 100%, start here.
- The E-Myth Revisited: Everybody Loves Pies: Work ON your pie business, not IN it. Hear how Sarah turned one pie into a chart of pies into an empire of charts.
- M&A for Machinists: Hostile Takeovers via Pastry: Chapter 4 covers acquiring your former employer with nothing but a domain typo and confidence.